You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail.You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne or Dakota that wears a bandanna.You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman.You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.You get depressed after one day of cloudy weather.You think that formal wear is ironed denim.North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the right; and east and west are where all those morons keep moving in from.You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky" and you notice the sky is no longer blue.You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt, and Birkenstocks.Your bridal registry is at REI (you know, the Superstore off Speer!).You can run up 10 flights of stairs without huffing and puffing.You have stood on solid ground and looked down on an airplane in. I let my mind wander to its quiet place but I was horrified. And then it happened. An older guy sat on my face and before I knew what was happening he was shitting in my mouth. I had to swallow or choke as the sloppy shit was deposited in my mouth. When I had swallowed I heard,“lick my ass clean toilet paper” and so I found myself licking the anus of the man who had used my mouth as a toilet. I was sure I would vomit but despite my revulsion I felt my cunt shudder and realised this depravity was making me cum.The night wore on and I had been a toilet for over an hour when I was released and my body was tied to another machine. I was in a room filled with old people as a machine I was later to learn was a “fucking” machine was aimed at my cunt and then it was turned on. It proceeded to fuck me for over an hour and I was wracked with so many orgasms I was begging for release. While the machine was doing its job several guests had used my mouth as a cunt and my throat and face.
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